Saturday, October 30, 2010

Fresh Start- 1: The Break-up and the Grieving Process


ISANG MAIKLING 1st CHAPTER NG Kaduktong ng buhay ko :)... Entrance Exam (my First non-fictional story, tells about who I was, How I loved and How I gave up everything for Love... Fresh Start will show everyone How I discovered more about myself, that I am not just this.... I am more than this! :)
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“God takes something away from you for a reason, for different reasons that is, but assure that when something has been taken away from you, it may not always be replaced with better trades, but sometimes it goes away to teach you that you are more than what you think you already are”

“Ano yung nabasa ko sa blogsite na yun ha Gab? Pinag pipyestahan nung mga yun yung storya na yun? Paano kung Makita ng kakilala ko yun, edi malalaman nila? Hindi ka nagiisip eh” Isang text lang na galing kay Arvin ang na-receive ko, eh ano bang magagawa ko, ni ayaw nya nga makipag usap sakin, lahat ng tawag ko rejected, pinupuntahan ko sya, ayaw nya naman ako Makita, what the hell! Ako yung may kasalanan alam ko, kaya nga ako yung nag e-effort at alam nya na nag eefort ako, pero bakit parang wala lang.

Phheew! Naalala ko yung huling chapter ng entrance exam, part 7, ang sarap ng ending, parang kami na habang buhay….. pero hindi pala, sabi nga nila, ang relationship may finish line, sabi ko naman, hindi lahat, pero I guess yung akin meron nga!

It all started when I wrote the story “Entrance Exam” sinulat ko yun kasi it was my hobby to write stories and naisip ko bakit hindi ko i-share yung kakaibang story naming dalawa, it was supposed to be a surprise for him, I submitted our story on Bi out lout para ma ishare ko sa iba, I thought he was going to be proud of our story pero iyun pala ang magiging melting point ng lahat. Pero wala akong magagawa, ako ang mali, pero alam ko sa sarili ko na ginawa ko lahat ng kaya ko para ma i-save ko kung ano man ang meron saaming dalawa.

Cry, cry, cry, iyun lang ang kaya kung gawin, walang iba kung hindi umiyak. I worked hard for that relationship, I changed myself for him, kahit I believe na pag mahal mo ang isang tao, hindi ka dapat nya binabago kasi minahal ka nya na ganun ka, bakit kailangan magbago, but I did. 3 months, I felt like I’m so miserable, pero after some time naisip ko din sa sarili ko, why should I castigate myself for a love that has no more chances. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, it’s about time to forget him.

Isang tao lang naman pinagkakatiwalaan ko when it comes to my love problems, Isang sobrang close friend, siguro tawagin nyo nalang syang Chase, si Chase yung lagi ko pinagsasabihan ng lahat ng mga problema ko.

“Chase, should I forget about him?” sabi ko

“Ikaw ba nakikita mo pa na may pakialam pa sa’yo yung lintek na yun? Wala na Gab, wag ka pakatanga dun, andaming nagmamahal sa’yo” he advised

Oo nga pala, madaming nagmamahal sakin, si Chase? Sobrang mahal ko yun, minsan nga iniisip ko maging Bi lang tong si chase tatapatin ko to. Gustong gusto ko sya dati pa kahit nung kami pa (pero syempre loyal ako) sobrang sweet kasi nun, sobrang maalaga, sobrang baet, cute, pero may sabit, may girlfriend ang loko. I don’t know pero out of the blue biglang may lumabas sa mga labi ko na hindi ko expected

“Chase, I like you.” Sabi ko sakanya

“Ulol! Parang tanga ka Gab” sabi nya sakin

“Seriously” he looked puzzled nung sinabi ko sakanya yun, I was expecting na magagalet sya at mag wawalk-out (mahilig kasi mag walk out yun lalo na pag ayaw nya yung pinaguusapan)

“Kirby Gabriel Fadriquella, baka nakakalimutan mo! May girlfriend po ako! At hindi po ako Bi, pasensya na po ah” sabi nya sakin ng medyo may makulit na tono, sabay yakap sakin “andami daming may gusto sa’yo dyan, ako pa ‘tong pinaglololoko mo!” pabiro nyang banat

I really like him, ewan ko ba, parang pag kasama ko sya, he never fails to make me smile, he always gives me reasons to, lalo na nung fresh palang yung break up naming dalawa ni Arvin, Chase was always there for me, sobrang gustong gusto ko sya, pero hindi talaga pwede eh, hanggang barkada lang ang maii-offer nya sakin.

I woke up and I received a text for chase 3 days after naming magusap

“Gab, si Kaye, she broke up with me, shit di ko alam gagawin ko pare” Hindi ko alam kung malulungkot ako dahil nag break sila o papairalin ko yung pagiging demonyo ko at isipin na chance ko na to para sumingit sa buhay nya, ewan! Basta! Kung kailangan maging bi si Chase gagawin ko, maging akin lang sya. (possessive si Kupal!)

Agad kung pinuntahan si Chase sa condo nya para ma comfort syempre, and pagdating ko niyakap ko agad sya at I asked if everthing’s okay

“It’s okay! Andito lang ako para sayo” sabi ko sakanya

“Salamat Gab ah, sobrang salamat talaga” sagot nya

“Promise me you’re gonna be okay” sabi ko sakanya

“I can’t promise you” sagot nya

“Chase! Andito lang naman ako para sa’yo! Alam mo naman na mahal kita!” sabi ko

“Ano ba meron sakin ha? Hindi naman ako gwapo, hindi naman ako sexy, baket ako pa?” sabi nya sakin habang tumutulo yung luha nya

“Baka nakakalimutan mong napakabait mo, matalino, magaling magpasaya, masarap kasama, at para sakin ikaw ang pinaka gwapong tao sa mundo. Mahal kita eh!”

Natulala lang si Chase habang patuloy parin na bumabagsak ang mga luha nya

“I love you too Gab!”

SHIYIT! I love you too daw ba? O may nakabara sa tenga ko at di ko narinig ng maayos!? Shit talaga. Ano gagawin ko ngingitian ko ba sya? Sasapakin ko kasi baka niloloko nya lang ako, o hahalikan ko sya? Ano? Ano???

2 comments:

  1. I loved what you wrote sa Entrance Exam.. I'm looking forward for this one.. I also read other blogs at Bi Out Loud but most of them are grammatically incorrect so I got tired of reading them... THANKS a Lot..!!^^
    I do hope you get your happy ending..
    and Hopefully makuha ku na rin ang para sa akin.. kung meron man...^^

    ReplyDelete