No more facebook. Decided to delete it a couple of months ago.
No more Twitter, it went off a long time ago too
Could not open my formspring. I forgot my password since I don't use that account that much
This is my last resort. I need to write about this shit. Or else I'd blow up.
I hate this feeling that I'm trying to sink in my system as of this moment.
YES! I admit, up to this very moment I still love that person. That's why I'm still trying to fix things, which in his view probably just me being friendly or whatever. I am trying to act as if I'm cool with the past, but guess what? I am not. Damn that.
I think the conversation was going well yesterday. He even told me that I am the only one that is making him smile. I don't know if he meant it from deep down but just by that, my whole day was made.
Not until earlier when he said he would just talk to me "later" which ended up in a freakin' 5 hours straight "WAIT LANG." I admit I missed him in that short period of time. Then he told me he was with his "CRUSH" that's why he was not able to talk to me for that 5 hours
I know I do not have any right to tell him, or ask, or whatever, or even to try to win him, or shit. Damn it, I hate the fact that he really does like the other guy. And here I am "UMAASA NANAMAN" as usual. Without no one to blame.
Then nagusap sila, and then he texted and then I asked, damn gabi, you really had to ask, and told me he just got off the phone with his "CRUSH" in defense to the few minutes he asked for.
Damn I have no right, pero nasasaktan ako, nagseselos ako, without him knowing, without me saying, WITHOUT ME EVEN THINKING NA TAPOS NA, WAG KA NA MAGSELOS, NAGMUMUKHA KANG TANGA HINDI KA NA KASI GUSTO.
Damn, help me move on, I don't know what to do :( This night sucks. BALLS!